the fear

There are 2 things that scared the hell out of me. First is onion, any kind of onions, the smell of it, the skin of onions and even the onion flavour. I don't touch, smell and eat onion. Call me freak and I don't care. Second one is going back to my hometown, no no no, not that I'm scared with my parents whatsoever, I love them VERY MUCH. It's just the people around them and me that annoyed me so much and guess one topic they chose to talk about when they met me.
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MY WEIGHT.
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Yes, I do HATE people commenting about my weight. I know I did gain weight, a lot and people LOVED to tease me about it. Everybody, every single person I know in my hometown loved to share their comments about MY -damn it's not ur business- WEIGHT. The newspaper kiosk girl next to my house COMMENTED on my weight, my dad's work colleagues COMMENTED on my weight, my highschool friends teased me, my junior highschool friends teased me, my ex-teacher in junior highschool commented on how fat i was, my neighbours told me to diet, my extended family told me to diet and told my parents to stop sending me money so that I could not eat *well yeah it was that sarcastic* . Well, the positive thing is I was that popular *gagagaga* but I don't need everybody's talking about my weight as if there were no other interesting topics to talk about. I'm sick of them and that was my main reason for not going back to my hometown for almost 2 years ( there WERE other million reasons but that was my main consideration).

I guess being SKINNY is an essential for girls back in my hometown and my mom, apparently, is a natural skinny woman, and was really afraid of the reality of my weight. All mums are genius as well as mine, so she hired a PRIVATE aerobic instructor esp for me coming to my house three times a week so (hopefully at that time) I would lose some fat and it worked ...... for several months because I didnt bring my private instructor along with me back to Perth:p. It always happened every time I went back to my hometown, lost weight in Indo, gained another kilos in Perth.

Almost all Indonesians who went abroad for studying will gain weight, because of (might be) the culture shock, the food varieties, the weather or (mostly) the happiness of living independently :p. However, one thing for sure, these bodies will be back to its normal weight after couple years living in wherever they live ( this is what they call the process of adapting). Based on that theory, I supposed not to do anything to lose weight, but I tried some diet methods, cut my carbs, didnt eat this, didnt eat that, My prayers were almost all about losing weight and I just realised how stupid I was, but the thing is I didn't enjoy my life ! I love carbs ( I can only eat rice with any crackers, mum, u know this habit!), I love milk and dairy products. So, starting from last year I ignored those stupid comments and start enjoying life, having carbs for my dinner, drinking milk everyday.

That is why I didnt go back indo last year, I prefer to enjoy my holiday with my sister in sydney and still eating big meals 3x a day without any complaints hahaha but not gaining weight ( the theory worked !). But this year, I will go home for less than 2 weeks and that fear started to crawl into my brain, in short, i can say that I'm a bit traumatic going home, or sort of and that sounds stupid.

wish me luck this time and wait for my next post about my holiday this year !

NB:
my weight when I was first coming to Perth: 43 kg
my current weight: 47 kg --> working + uni = losing ur weight